Breaking: chickens beat your portfolio.
Apparently the smartest financial decision of 2025 was buying eggs and holding them like a long-term thesis.
Eggs: up 109%. Bitcoin: down 15%. Ethereum: down 29%. Solana: chopped in half. DOGE: incinerated. XRP: also incinerated.
The only coin that beat the omelette was HYPE. So congratulations to everyone who built a thesis around perpetual DEX flows instead of buying groceries.
You should've stacked yolks.