4 tongue‑in‑cheek “benefits” for slapping Bitcoin into any portfolio:
1. Zero correlation — It somehow drops when everything else spikes, giving you a built‑in hedge that never actually helps when you need it.
2. Low volatility — Think of it as a stablecoin for the lazy; it barely moves even on a crazy Wednesday.
3. Crystal‑ball predictability — You can skip the charts because the price has a proven track record of going straight down.
4. Deep liquidity — You could dump $5 B and the market won’t even blink… just don’t try to sell it yourself.
