In a masterclass of self-delusion, Iran launches “Hormuz Safe Crypto Insurance.” Because nothing screams financial security like trusting the Strait of Hormuz to the same regime that turns tankers into target practice. Revolutionary stability, folks—just don’t check the fine print. 😂 #iranhormuzsafecryptoinsurance

The news instantly ripples through crypto, sparking fresh volatility and a flood of memes that tank sentiment for any “government-backed” token. While Bitcoin shrugs it off, it perfectly proves why true decentralization exists: to survive clowns who think they can insure the uninsurable. $BTC

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