When the last bull market was nearing its end, I still had 180,000 U in my account. At that time, I was on cloud nine, even smiling in my sleep.
One early morning, scrolling through the feed, the screen was filled with positive ETH news: upgrades, narratives, institutions entering the market, and the comments were all about 'taking off' and 'new highs coming soon'.
I stared at my phone, my heart racing faster than the K-line, with only one thought left in my mind: 'If I don’t go in, I’m just missing out on money.'
No analysis, no plan, I went all in on a long position.
At that moment of entry, my palms were sweaty, and I tried to comfort myself:
'In the late stages of a bull market, a pullback is just free money.'
But the market didn’t give me any psychological comfort.
First, there was a slight dip, and I held still;
Then another drop, and I started to get anxious;
By the time my account dropped from 180,000 to 70,000,
I was still lying to myself: 'It’s just a wash, it’ll bounce back soon.'
Until that familiar and glaring notification popped up——
Position liquidation notice!
I stared at the screen for a full half minute.
The cigarette in my mouth had burned down to my fingertips,
The pain was felt too late,
But my heart was just empty.
In that moment, I realized,
Losing money was secondary,
My confidence shattered completely.
In the following weeks, I felt like I was possessed.
The first thing I did every morning wasn’t washing my face,
But thinking: 'How do I recover my losses?'
Not looking at structures, not calculating positions,
Every order was based on gut feeling;
Chasing the rises, adding on the drops,
Every transaction felt like I was trying to defy the market.
The result was simple——
The more anxious I was, the faster I lost;
The more I wanted to turn things around, the deeper I fell into the pit.
Only later did I understand: it wasn't the market that killed me that day,
It was me, opening the largest position when my emotions were at their peak.
