Who Thought "Semantic Memory" Was a Dating Term
User Review Posted to the App Store (Allegedly)
★★★★☆
"My Therapist Said I Should Externalize My Thoughts. This Works?"
Username: DigitalSquirrel42
Date: Yesterday
Device: iPhone 13, slightly cracked screen
The Setup
Okay so I saw an ad for this app called MyNeutron and the tagline said "Turn your files into permanent semantic memories" and I genuinely, with my whole chest, thought this was a journaling app for people who want to remember their feelings better.
I downloaded it because my therapist, Deb, keeps telling me I need to "process my emotional archive" or whatever, and I thought, great, an app for that.
Reader. It is not for that. But it's actually way more useful and I'm not mad about it.
What I Thought It Was:
A digital diary that uses AI to help me understand my feelings. You know, "semantic" = meaning, "memory" = remembering. Makes sense, right?
What It Actually Is:
A file compression tool that uses artificial intelligence to shrink your documents into tiny blockchain seeds so they exist forever and can be queried later.
I figured this out approximately 47 seconds after uploading my therapy journal and watching it get turned into something called a "Neutron Seed."
The Confusion Phase
Me: "Why is my journal entry turning into a seed? Is this a metaphor?"
App: "File compressed successfully. Stored on Vanar Chain."
Me: "WHAT CHAIN. I DID NOT CONSENT TO CHAINS."
I called my friend who's "into crypto" (he owns $50 of Ethereum and has made it his entire identity). He explained what was happening and I had approximately 14 follow-up questions.
The Questions Phase
Q1: Is my therapy journal on the internet forever now?
A: Yes, but like... in a good way? Apparently it's compressed into an unchangeable form that only you can access. It's not just floating around on some server. It's more like... you put it in a permanent vault that you hold the only key to.
Q2: Why would I want this?
A: Deb says I have "abandonment issues with technology" because I once lost an entire novel draft to a corrupted hard drive. This is blockchain's answer to that specific trauma. Your files. Forever. No hard drive failures. No corrupted USBs. No crying on the phone with Geek Squad.
Q3: Is this free or am I being tricked?
A: The basic version is free. For power users there's a subscription that uses something called $VANRY, which is apparently a token. I don't understand tokens but I understand "free works for me right now."
The Experiment Phase
I decided to test it properly. I uploaded:
1. My dog's medical records (I always lose these, and he's 14 and needs monthly pills)
2. A video of my niece's first steps (currently living on my phone, which has 3% storage left at all times)
3. My lease agreement (because landlords are shady and I want proof)
4. A truly unhinged notes app poem from 2019 (for science)
Results:
· Everything compressed instantly
· Everything stored in what the app calls "the semantic layer"
· I can ask questions about my files now?? I typed "what's my dog's medication schedule" and the AI just... told me. From the compressed file. Without me digging through PDFs.
Deb would say this is "reducing my cognitive load." I say it's magic.
The Verdict Phase
Pros:
· Actually useful for disorganized people (me)
· Files are permanent (goodbye hard drive anxiety)
· AI search works disturbingly well
· Free tier is genuinely free, not "free until we ask for your credit card"
Cons:
· I still don't fully understand the blockchain part and at this point I'm afraid to ask
· The name "Neutron Seed" makes me think I'm gardening with radioactive materials
· My friends are tired of me saying "I'll compress that and put it on the chain" to everything
The Final Thought
Look, I don't know about "decentralized infrastructure" or "tokenomics" or whatever. I'm a person with a chaotic photo library and a pathological inability to organize PDFs. What I know is:
· My dog's records are safe
· My niece's first steps are immortalized
· I can find things without crying
· It was free
If the blockchain people want to give me useful tools that solve real problems, they can call it whatever they want. Neutron Seeds. Semantic Memories. Digital Squeegees. I don't care. Just keep my files safe and let me find my lease when my landlord gets weird.
One suggestion for the developers: Please add a "compress my emotional baggage" feature. Deb says I need it. I'll pay $VANRY for that.
Rating: 4/5 stars (lost one star because I still don't know what a blockchain is and at this point I'm too afraid to ask)
Follow the project that's accidentally helping people organize their lives:
@Vanarchain $VANRY #Vanar #MyNeutron #RealWorldAdoption #BlockchainForNormies #VANRY