When a publicly traded company raises an amount that is only enough to buy half a toilet in Beijing, you should know that what they are trading is not currency, but performance art.
This morning, as I read this news from the Scandinavian Peninsula, filled with Nordic minimalism, I was sipping my third cup of life-saving coffee.
I stared at that number, counting it three times: 783,000 dollars.
Then, I laughed until I cried.
It's not mockery. It's a kind of absurdity that is so extreme that one must resist the sorrow with laughter.
A publicly traded company with a name that includes the grand term 'Bitcoin Treasury Capital' held a board meeting at the end of 2025, issued an announcement, and completed all compliance processes, with the ultimate goal of raising $783,000 to buy Bitcoin.
What concept does $780,000 represent?
On Wall Street, this is only enough to pay a junior quantitative analyst for two months' salary plus bonuses.
In Shanghai, this is barely enough to buy less than 5 square meters of an old, dilapidated school district house.
In the crypto circle, this is only enough for a second-tier exchange to hold a decent 'trading competition' marketing budget.
And now, a publicly listed company has to issue 'Class A preferred shares' for this money.
Where is the financing in this?
This is clearly a carefully planned, globally targeted financial cosplay named 'We are really, really serious'.
Let us pierce this layer of the emperor's new clothes:
First layer of absurdity: It pursues the most 'anti-traditional' assets in the most 'traditional' way.
Going public, issuing shares, fundraising, regulatory disclosure... This entire tedious, outdated ritual belonging to the old world is ultimately just to purchase Bitcoin, which was born from the cryptographic punk mailing list and aims to subvert all of this. It's like using royal ceremony to honor a knife that cuts against imperial power. The extreme mismatch between form and content turns all its seriousness into a huge cold joke.
Second layer of sadness: It exposes the pale and powerless state of small players under the wave of 'institutionalization'.
When JPMorgan and VanEck discuss channels and layouts at the billion-dollar level, this 'warrior' from Northern Europe raises a toy gun worth $780,000. It thinks it is participating in a grand narrative, but in the eyes of real whales, it is not even a meal in the market, at best a decorative sesame on the edge of a plate. This fundraising perfectly illustrates the trivial yet self-important 'sense of ritual' of small fry in the tide of institutionalization.
Third layer of metaphor: It symbolizes the last remnants of awkward 'stubbornness' after the spirit of crypto is 'co-opted'.
This company may sincerely believe in Bitcoin. But its actions prove that it no longer knows how to believe 'correctly'. Aside from wrapping itself in the shell of a publicly listed company in the old world, and playing this 'issuing shares to buy coins' child's game, it cannot think of a more creative, more original, or more in line with the spirit of crypto way. It is like a poor actor, dressed in the costume of a 'crypto believer', but still using the clumsy lines of a 'Wall Street extra'.
So, don't treat this news as some kind of 'positive development'.
It is not a horn for institutions to enter the market.
It is a mirror that reveals the truth.
It reflects:
In the face of real capital flows, the so-called 'publicly listed company' title is so ostentatious.
When disruptive ideas are placed within old institutional frameworks, what absurd monsters will be born.
The entire narrative of 'institutionalizing crypto assets' at the execution level may be filled with such self-deceptive, trivial farces.
What they raised was not $780,000.
They are crowdfunding a ticket to enter the 'mainstream narrative' stage. Although the lights on that stage have never truly been lit for them.
The best outcome of this news is not that they successfully bought Bitcoin.
Rather, it should be framed and hung on the wall of a future cryptocurrency museum, labeled:
"Remember that era—when we talk about 'institutions,' sometimes we are just referring to the dream of $780,000."$BTC
