Not sure what got into me today, but I impulsively added 20 bucks to my wallet.
Thinking back, I guess it's still haunting me from that time I got liquidated.
On the first day, I went straight in with 20x leverage, turning 4,000 into 20,000. I really thought I was on top of the world, like making money was a piece of cake. But the next day, I got completely wrecked.
Looking back now, I was definitely riding high on a wave.
I'd made a few thousand in the fund market and another few in stocks, so after consecutive wins, I started seeing money as just numbers, not as my hard-earned cash. When I was in the green, I felt invincible, but when I hit a loss, it felt like whatever, until the market gave me a harsh reality check.
After that, I said I would never touch these things again.
But in the end, I still don't learn my lesson.
Recently, I don't know why, I downloaded Binance again.
I had plenty of reasons to justify it, saying I could invest three times to long the Nasdaq.
I already invested over 10,000 bucks in Nasdaq funds through Alipay, and the returns are quite good. I'm quite optimistic about US stocks, especially Nasdaq. In comparison, I really lack confidence in A-shares.
Later, I gradually bought around 200 bucks worth of securitized tokens, mainly leveraging three times to long the Nasdaq.
Later, I started looking at some individual stocks.
Like Micron, ARM, those kinds of stocks.
At that time, I thought they were tied to real assets, so they should be relatively stable, and the logic of rise and fall was clear.
The first two trades didn't actually earn much.
Mainly because the volatility itself isn't particularly large, and I hold positions for a very short time, lacking the patience to hold long-term.
Then slowly, my attention drifted back to those currencies and stocks that were skyrocketing.
At that time, I saw $HOME continually hitting new highs.
What I'm thinking is:
"Since the trend is so strong, it should rise further."
So I thought I'd wait for a brief pullback to go long at a low point.
Later, that 20 bucks seemed to have gone through three trades.
Every time I make around 40% or 50%, I close my position.
The 20 bucks peaked at 80 bucks at one point.
Basically, I wait for it to pull back a bit from the highs, then go long at short-term lows, make a quick buck, and run.
Because with 20x leverage, even a 1% or 2% fluctuation already yields significant returns.
To be honest.
That feeling is really addictive.
When the account numbers change rapidly, there's a particularly strong stimulation.
You know the risks are high, but you can't help but keep watching.
How did the last liquidation happen?
At that time, it was constantly consolidating at a high level.
Bouncing back and forth in a very narrow range.
The buy price I initially set was actually quite low.
According to the plan, I should have patiently waited for it to come down.
But I'm starting to worry.
I'm afraid the price will spike directly, and I won't be able to buy.
So I raised my buy point a bit.
Although it's still near the lows, it's already not the plan I had originally.
But shortly after buying it.
It suddenly started dropping.
And it dropped particularly quickly.
There's no reason I can understand.
It's just going down all the way.
And then directly get liquidated.
Cryptocurrency itself is highly volatile, and with leverage, often a moment can end it all.
Then I started thinking.
What exactly did I learn this time?
The first time I got liquidated, my problem was too much leverage and going all-in.
Later, I slowly learned to take profits.
When it rises by about 50%, take the profits.
Locking in profits.
Turn the money earned into money that truly belongs to me.
Compared to holding on until it falls back down, I'd rather lock in short-term profits first.
But I found that I learned to take profits but didn't truly learn to stop losses.
At that time, the account started to retract from profits.
When I lost half, I was actually already thinking about closing my position.
Because even if I had closed my position at that time, I would still be making a profit overall.
But I couldn't bear to do it.
Or, I still have fantasies in my mind.
I've been thinking:
"It shouldn't get liquidated, right?"
"Will it rebound soon?"
"Should I wait a bit more?"
In the end, the market doesn't change because of your fantasies.
Liquidation will happen if it has to.
It was only after this time that I truly realized some things.
If I hadn't gone all-in back then.
If I had only used half my position.
If I had set a stop-loss in advance.
So even if I misjudge, I won't lose everything at once.
I used to think taking profits was the most important.
Later, I found that managing position size and stop-loss are actually more important than taking profits.
Because trading isn't just done once.
If I want to do this long-term, the most important thing isn't how much I earn, but to survive first.
The previous methods will eventually lead to liquidation.
Looking back now, many people who got liquidated were doing the same thing.
They're not unintelligent.
Many people are even richer than I am.
But when the gambling nature gets stronger, people will keep adding positions and rolling over.
When making money, I feel invincible.
When losing, I want to make back what I lost.
One last mistake wipes out all the previous efforts.
So I started to understand a principle:
Making money is important, but preserving capital is even more crucial.
Profits determine how fast you can run.
Risk management determines how far you can go.
Then I also thought.
For someone like me from an ordinary background, investing may be a path to achieve wealth growth in the future.
But it must not become gambling.
You can't treat this as the only hope to change your fate.
Before my abilities and understanding mature, I must restrain my greed.
Control frequency.
Manage your position size.
Review in a timely manner.
Reflect in a timely manner.
If it's just losing money, that's still a small matter.
The biggest fear is addiction.
Because I've increasingly realized that once you experience this high-intensity dopamine stimulation, it's hard to settle down to do things that require long-term accumulation.
Like studying.
Like coding.
Like fitness.
Like working on projects.
These things usually take effect slowly.
But what truly changes lives are precisely these slow variables.
It's not about how much I made in one trade.
I don't want to be destroyed by this stimulation.
I also hope that in the future, looking back, I won't find that the most valuable years of my youth were wasted on constantly chasing highs and lows.
I hope to view investments rationally.
Treat it as a tool for asset appreciation, not an outlet for emotional venting.
If I still lack the ability to handle these high-risk assets.
Then I'd rather invest honestly in the Nasdaq index.
Limit trading frequency.
Control risk.
Accept slower growth.
Because real compound interest comes from slow accumulation.
Maybe that's just my personality.
My execution is not particularly strong.
But I'm quite sensitive to new information, new concepts, AI, and business models.
I'm also quite fast at learning about financial markets.
I know where my problems lie.
Lack of execution is a lesson I must learn for the future.
But I also feel that I've learned some things in the market.
Like taking profits.
Like setting stop-losses.
Like risk management.
These principles actually apply beyond just investing.
The same applies to life.
Good habits need to be accumulated constantly.
Bad habits need timely stop-loss.
Wasting time on things of no value is essentially a loss.
Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
Whether in investing or life, you should always leave some leeway for yourself.
I am 20 years old this year.
It's one of the best stages of life.
I don't want to become a gambler.
I hope to learn how to invest, but not get addicted to it.
Learn to make money, but don't be controlled by it.
Learn to use tools, but don't become a slave to them.
The money I lost in the past is already gone.
Sunk costs shouldn't affect future judgments.
What truly matters is how to move forward next.
As a student majoring in software engineering.
If I study seriously.
Finding a job that pays over 10k a month isn't actually hard.
And I don't have a particularly strong desire to consume myself.
If from age 20 to 30, I work seriously, keep learning, and continue investing.
Even if it's just dollar-cost averaging the Nasdaq.
There are actually opportunities to accumulate decent assets.
Not necessarily getting rich.
But you can definitely live a stable and dignified life.
In the future, find someone I like and get married.
Build my own family.
Lead a peaceful life.
It's actually already quite good.
But if you get addicted to gambling-style trading at a young age.
Addicted to the fantasy of getting rich overnight.
Keep throwing more and more cash into it.
Then the harm that habit brings may be greater than smoking, drinking, or impulsive spending.
Because it destroys not just money.
Also, people's judgment, patience, and values.
So I must remind myself.
Don't turn a tool that could help me into a machine that destroys me.
I'll stop writing here for today.
Fortunately, this time I didn't focus on the losses themselves.
But it's about trying to treat it as an experience to summarize.
I've decided not to touch cryptocurrencies for the next three months.
And I don't touch high leverage.
If you really want to research the market, you can start with simulated trading.
Exchanges have related functions as well.
At least prove to myself that I can consistently follow the rules before putting in real money.
Youth and capital are both precious.
There's no need to waste them for short-term thrills.
Many might think 20 bucks isn't much.
Just skipping one meal.
But I never cared about that 20 bucks.
But it's the underlying thoughts.
It's that kind of unwillingness.
It's that urge to make back losses.
It's that impulse that always makes you feel like you can win next time.
Every time I lose, I remember the 4,000 bucks I lost at the beginning.
It seems to remind me:
Don't overestimate yourself.
I was born in an ordinary small county.
Both parents are salaried workers.
Being able to support me through college was already quite tough.
So I should cherish the opportunities in hand even more.
Recently, I've been slowly changing myself.
I started paying attention to healthy eating.
I started working on losing weight and gaining muscle.
I started learning about fashion.
Start improving skin condition.
Start organizing my desk and wardrobe.
Start making my life a bit simpler and cleaner.
These changes might not be significant.
But they really exist.
I'm slowly getting better.
I don't want to ruin the results I've worked hard to accumulate due to momentary impulses.
So when facing cryptocurrencies, I must stay calm.
In the end, I hope the big players don't laugh at me for having little money.
I'm just a college student from a regular family.
Using money given by my parents for these things always makes me feel guilty.
And precisely because of this, I should learn to control myself.
This article is a restructured output of the previous one using GPT. I've tried to maintain my tone and format as much as possible to facilitate reading for everyone.