alishba_sozar

Not jealous. Ashamed.

They'd post their screenshots. The green P&L. The perfect entries. The payout confirmations. And I'd look at my own account and think: I'm doing the same thing they're doing. Studying the same charts. Trading the same markets. Putting in the same hours. And getting the opposite results.

The thought that kept coming back wasn't 'they're better than me.' It was worse than that. It was 'there's something fundamentally wrong with me as a person.'

Not my strategy. Not my analysis. Me.

Like everyone else got handed something at birth that I was missing. Some ability to execute, some inner wiring that let them do what I couldn't. And no amount of screen time or studying was going to fix it because the problem wasn't what I knew. The problem was who I was.

I never unfollowed anyone. I never muted the screenshots. I just kept watching. Every day. And it ate me alive from the inside. My confidence got thinner every week. Not in big dramatic moments. Just a slow, quiet drain. Like a leak I couldn't find.

It never made me trade differently. I didn't size up or go reckless trying to match what I was seeing. It was worse than that. It just sat in the background, whispering that I wasn't built for this. And I carried that whisper into every session without realizing it was affecting everything.

What broke it wasn't one moment. It was a slow realization that came in layers.

First, I started noticing that most of those screenshots were cherry-picked. The wins were real but the losses were hidden. Nobody was posting their blown accounts. Nobody was sharing the Tuesday where they revenge traded their way to a 5% drawdown. I was comparing my full reality to their highlight reel.

Then I realized I was comparing my chapter one to their chapter ten. Some of these traders had been at it for a decade. Some had mentors, capital, advantages I didn't have. I was three years in, sitting in my room, teaching myself from YouTube, and wondering why I wasn't where they were.

And eventually the simplest truth landed: their wins had absolutely nothing to do with my journey. Not a single one of their green days made my red days worse. Not a single one of their payouts took anything from me. The comparison existed entirely in my head, and it was costing me the one thing I actually needed: the belief that I could figure this out on my own timeline.

The moment I stopped measuring my progress against strangers on the internet was the moment I started making actual progress.

Not because anything changed in my trading. Because the energy I was spending on shame finally got redirected into the work.

If you're scrolling right now, seeing the wins, feeling that quiet sickness in your stomach, thinking something is wrong with you because you're not there yet.

Nothing is wrong with you. You're just looking at the wrong scoreboard. The only one that matters is yours. And the only entry that counts is tomorrow's.
#Alishba_Sozar
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