"I’m not a gambler, I’m a sophisticated collector of digital amphibians and dogs in knitwear."
My portfolio is currently a zoo where all the animals are on a sugar high. I started with
$DOGE , the "Grandfather of Memes." I bought it because Elon tweeted a picture of a rocket ship in 2021 and I haven’t slept since. The Dev of Dogecoin is literally the universe at this point. I’m down 40%, but I keep telling myself, "It’s a global currency," while I try to use it to pay for a Slurpee and the cashier calls security.
Then I moved to
$PEPE . I told my wife it was an "ESG-friendly green asset." She found out it’s a cartoon frog on Ethereum that moves 20% every time a billionaire sneezes. I asked the Telegram group for a technical analysis, and someone sent me a GIF of a frog doing a backflip into a blender. That was the analysis. I bought the top, and now I’m the "Exit Liquidity" for a teenager in a basement in Ohio who just bought a gold-plated toaster with my money.
To "diversify," I went all-in on
$WIF . Why? Because it’s a dog. In a hat. A pink hat. There is no utility. There is no roadmap. There is only the hat. I watched the price drop 15% today and I wasn't even mad. I just looked at the hat and whispered, "He looks cozy, though." I’m currently $5,000 in the hole, holding a frog, a dog, and a dog-in-a-hat, waiting for the "Binance Burn" to save my soul. If this isn't peak finance, I don't know what is. 🐸🐶🎩🚀
#DOGE #WIF #pepe