"How I Lost Money and a Date in One Night"
Took a girl out to dinner. Things were going great.
She asked, "So, what do you do?"
I proudly said, "I'm a crypto investor."
She smiled.
I smiled.
Perfect moment.
Checked my phone under the table — my meme coin just crashed 80%.
Panic. Sweating. Immediate emotional damage.
I tried to stay cool, but she noticed.
Asked if everything was okay.
I said, "Yeah, just lost my life savings. Anyway, how’s your pasta?"
She laughed awkwardly.
I cried internally.
She never texted back.
Neither did my portfolio.
