It starts like this:
The guy ignored Bitcoin, called it a bubble, laughed at those who bought it, said “this will never amount to anything.”
Years later, he sees news of people who became millionaires with BTC, ETH, early DeFi… and then his brain goes into total tilt mode.
He thinks:
“I missed the BTC train… so now I need to find THE COIN that will make me rich once and for all.”
And thus the Mystic Shitcoiner is born:
he is not an investor, he is a frustrated wizard trying to conjure wealth with meme coin. 🧙♂️✨
How the Mystic Shitcoiner thinks
He no longer asks “does this make sense?”.
He asks:
“Can you become a millionaire with little?”
He looks at a PEPE of life and performs the standard ritual:
Opens the calculator 📱
Types: “if this goes to 1 dollar…”
Sees the absurd number on the screen
And done: the prophecy is made. He “is already” rich, only missing the market to obey.
Doesn’t know what market cap is, doesn’t know the supply, doesn’t know what the token does.
But knows exactly how many millions “he will have” when he hits that fanciful target. 🤡
The complete package of the Mystic Shitcoiner Syndrome
Classic symptoms:
Buys any token because “it’s cheap”
Thinks that the quantity of coins = the path to wealth
Keeps saying “when this one explodes, no one can hold me back”
Enters coins with frogs, dogs, ducks, fish, chickens… it doesn’t matter, as long as there’s 🚀🔥🌕 in the post
Trusts a tweet with a rocket more than a whitepaper
He doesn’t accept 2x, 3x, 5x…
He wants to turn R$ 200 into “generational money.”
Wants to jump from Pix to the jet without going through the middle. 🛫
Where he gets burned
The Syndrome of the Mystic Shitcoiner turns the crypto market into a cult:
The chart becomes an oracle 📈🔮
The anonymous dev becomes a spiritual entity
The group on Telegram is the “church”
And any price correction is a “test of faith”
Meanwhile:
Has no risk management
Has no strategy
Has no sense of cycle
Has no exit plan
He only has one phrase in mind:
“It’s all in on this, if it works out, my poor life is over.”
And almost always what ends is the bankroll itself. 💀
The cure (spoiler: it’s not in the PEPE at 1 dollar)
To get out of the Mystic Shitcoiner Syndrome, the ritual is different:
Uninstall the idea of “getting rich overnight” 🧹
Accept that BTC early is over, and that’s okay
Understand that a meme coin with astronomical supply won’t magically go to 1 dollar just because you want it to
Study the minimum of fundamentals, risk, cycle, macro, allocation
Exchange financial fanfic for a minimally rational strategy
The true “wizard” today is this:
people who study, build positions in decent assets, respect time, don’t fan-club shitcoin… and later will seem “lucky” to the next regretful ones. 😏
