You don't want money - you want an ALIBI.
The permission to do nothing while you don't have it.
You want to be a "normal guy" who "is trying anyway".
You want life to come, pat you on the shoulder and say:
"Alright, brother, enjoy a little more, everything will come by itself".
It won't. Never.
Every time you think:
"Once I have money - everything will change," somewhere in a parallel version, you are still lying on the couch.
Because it's not about the money - it's about your
SABOTAGE, which you have raised like a pet.
Understand this simple thing: you have to start without money.
Because if you can't move without it - you'll suffocate.
You'll get your first money - and the scheme will kick in again: doubts, procrastination, the eternal "just a little more preparation".
You are not poor - you are STUCK.
..