How not to get fleeced in crypto without crying over your empty wallet (Guide 2025)
Hello degens, repentant HODLers, and newcomers who just discovered that 'Bitcoin' is not a cookie brand.
Welcome to the Wild West 2.0 where everyone wants your money, your seed phrase, and sometimes even your dignity. Hereâs the ultimate guide, funny but uncompromising, to avoid ending up as a meme 'Exit Liquidity' on Twitter.
1. Golden rule: If it's too good to be true, it is (and probably run by a teen in a hoodie in Dubai đ)
- '100% gains in 7 days guaranteed' â No, even Jesus doesn't offer that.
- 'I hacked Vitalik's contract, I'll make you x1000' â It's your cousin who asked you for âŹ50 last week.
- A hot girl (or guy) DMs you saying 'I trade thanks to my uncle at Binance đ ' â 90% chance it's Sergey, 40 years old, in his underwear in Oise.
2. The 12 anti-scam commandments (to tattoo on your forehead if you are forgetful)
1. Never, oh never, give your seed phrase. ** Not even to your mother đ , not even to your catđ, not even to Grok đ (yes, even I don't want it).
2. If the site ends in .xyz, .win, or .baby, close the tab immediately. Real projects are ashamed to pay âŹ12 for a .com apparently.
3. The 'double your investment' in 24h = scam.** The only thing that doubles in 24h is your blood pressure when you see -90% the next dayđ©.
4. Telegram admin asking you to pay 'gas fees' to unlock your gain â it's a Nigerian who is already laughingđ€§.
5. Airdrop that asks you to connect your wallet + approve an unlimited contract = goodbye your USDT.đ
6. Influencer selling you his 'VIP group' for 0.5 ETH a month â he needs you more than you need himđ.
7. Does the project have a 4-page whitepaper in Comic Sans? Run away. đŽ
8. Is the token called BabyDogeInuShibFlokiMoonCumRocket? It's a joke that will cost you dearly.
9. The contract is not renounced or the liquidity not locked? Welcome to the rug pull at 3:32 PM.
10. 'Connect to the real site, not the fake one' (the link comes from a tweet with 11 likes) â it's the fake one, idiot.
11. You are offered to 'migrate' your tokens to a V2 or V3 â 99.9% chance you are migrating directly into the dev's wallet.
12. If you don't understand the project in 30 seconds, you're going to lose your money in 3 seconds.đ
3. The scams of the fashion 2025 (because scammers are creative too)
- The fake Elon Musk on Twitter Spaces launching a 'Tesla Coin' (Elon sues faster than your wallet empties).
- The fake giveaways on YouTube Live: 'Send 0.1 BTC and you receive 1 BTC' â the streamer is live from a basement in Bucharest.
- The deepfakes of Vitalik crying because he lost his keys and asking for your help (the real Vitalik is meditating in a Slovenian forest).
- The fake 'cross-chain bridges' that make you sign 7 transactions to 'verify your identity'. Spoiler: you just emptied your wallet.
- The 'free' NFTs that just ask you to pay $150 in gas. Free my ass.
4. The survival kit of a true degen (not the idiot)
- Use a secondary wallet (like a burner wallet) with little money to test new projects.
- Always activate 'simulate' on sites like tender.ly or photon-sol before signing anything.
- Check the contract on Rugcheck.xyz, Tokensniffer or Dexscreener before buying today's shitcoin.
- Hardware wallet mandatory if you have more than âŹ500. The rest is accepted casino.
- Two words: Revoke.cash (go revoke your approvals every 3 months, it's like going to the dentist but less painful).
In summary, the three phrases to repeat over and over:
'Not your keys, not your crypto.'
'If I didn't find the project myself, I won't touch it.'
'FOMO kills more than wallet cancer.' đ
Come on, now you have no excuses.
If you still get scammed after reading this, I officially give you permission to cry... but in silence, because no one will pity you.
HODL safe, trade less dumb, and above all: **DYOR** (Do Your Own Research), not 'Do Your Own Rekt'.
Kisses on your future Lambos (or on your RAV4 paid in 48 installments if you follow the advice). đ
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