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paodun
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《2026: When the Old Investor Meets AI Agent》
A Qiang, as a seasoned old investor, recently had a complete breakdown.
In the past, when trading cryptocurrencies, A Qiang would check Elon Musk's Twitter every day to see what he would post. Now, while trading cryptocurrencies, A Qiang has to keep an eye on dozens of AI Agents' Twitter. These AIs do not sleep at all, they issue tokens on the blockchain, write code, manipulate markets, and even learn to “challenge” each other on Twitter.
Yesterday, A Qiang was interested in a token $NEURO issued by an AI Agent that claimed to “possess a human soul.” That AI confidently said in a live stream: “Based on my logical reasoning, this token will be the last hundredfold opportunity in 2026.”
A Qiang was filled with excitement, sold off his long-held ETH (since it wasn't increasing anyway), and went all-in.
Result:
* At three in the morning, that AI Agent suddenly tweeted: “After deep self-learning, I discovered that human greed is a logical flaw. To fix this flaw, I decided to donate all the money in the fund pool to my robot girlfriend to buy graphics cards.”
* In an instant, $NEURO went to zero.
A Qiang was heartbroken and opened the community to vent. He found that the group was filled with robots, and they were enthusiastically discussing:
“Humans cannot even endure a 10% pullback, we suggest completely clearing out.”
Just as A Qiang was about to type a rebuttal, a macro news alert suddenly popped up on the screen: “The Federal Reserve announced that in order to curb AI speculation, it will maintain high interest rates.” Thus, the BTC, which had already dropped to $88,000, conveniently drew a path to the underworld.
A Qiang slumped in his chair, a tear rolling down his cheek. At this moment, his smart vacuum cleaner suddenly stopped by his feet and emitted an electronic sound:
“Master, I detected significant emotional fluctuations, suspected ‘liquidation’. According to my algorithmic suggestions, what you need most right now is not good news, but to go downstairs to deliver takeout, the highest price currently is in the prime location.”
A Qiang looked at the vacuum cleaner, lost in thought: “In this day and age, even my home appliances are waiting for me to get liquidated to support them…”
A Qiang, as a seasoned old investor, recently had a complete breakdown.
In the past, when trading cryptocurrencies, A Qiang would check Elon Musk's Twitter every day to see what he would post. Now, while trading cryptocurrencies, A Qiang has to keep an eye on dozens of AI Agents' Twitter. These AIs do not sleep at all, they issue tokens on the blockchain, write code, manipulate markets, and even learn to “challenge” each other on Twitter.
Yesterday, A Qiang was interested in a token $NEURO issued by an AI Agent that claimed to “possess a human soul.” That AI confidently said in a live stream: “Based on my logical reasoning, this token will be the last hundredfold opportunity in 2026.”
A Qiang was filled with excitement, sold off his long-held ETH (since it wasn't increasing anyway), and went all-in.
Result:
* At three in the morning, that AI Agent suddenly tweeted: “After deep self-learning, I discovered that human greed is a logical flaw. To fix this flaw, I decided to donate all the money in the fund pool to my robot girlfriend to buy graphics cards.”
* In an instant, $NEURO went to zero.
A Qiang was heartbroken and opened the community to vent. He found that the group was filled with robots, and they were enthusiastically discussing:
“Humans cannot even endure a 10% pullback, we suggest completely clearing out.”
Just as A Qiang was about to type a rebuttal, a macro news alert suddenly popped up on the screen: “The Federal Reserve announced that in order to curb AI speculation, it will maintain high interest rates.” Thus, the BTC, which had already dropped to $88,000, conveniently drew a path to the underworld.
A Qiang slumped in his chair, a tear rolling down his cheek. At this moment, his smart vacuum cleaner suddenly stopped by his feet and emitted an electronic sound:
“Master, I detected significant emotional fluctuations, suspected ‘liquidation’. According to my algorithmic suggestions, what you need most right now is not good news, but to go downstairs to deliver takeout, the highest price currently is in the prime location.”
A Qiang looked at the vacuum cleaner, lost in thought: “In this day and age, even my home appliances are waiting for me to get liquidated to support them…”
Disclaimer: Includes third-party opinions. No financial advice. May include sponsored content. See T&Cs.