🚨 SHOCKING WARNING: TRUMP TO CHINA — “TRY TO WEAKEN THE DOLLAR… AND BE READY FOR THE RESULT” 🇨🇳🇺🇸 (also lol that’s the 🇱🇷 flag)$ZIL $BULLA $BIRB
Meanwhile China’s out here quietly speedrunning “Plan B”: Pushing yuan trade with BRICS + commodity partners Stacking real metal (PBoC has been adding gold consistently — official holdings are ~2,306 tonnes) Trying to make “paper promises” look… very 1990s
Dollar gang: “Nothing to see here.” China: “Just rearranging the global money system, don’t mind us.” 😭📉
🚨BREAKING🚨 Vitalik reportedly says: “The original vision for L2s and their role in Ethereum no longer makes sense.” Also: “We need a new path forward.🔥$ETH gas fees at the lowest point ever So… L2s got promoted, then instantly put on a Performance Improvement Plan.
🇨🇦 Canada. is already in a recession,” says an economist. So we’re not “heading into it”… we’re just already living in it. GDP sneezing, jobs wheezing, wallets in ICU — but don’t worry, they’ll rename it “a soft vibes slowdown.
🚨CANADA REALLY SAID “NOT YOUR KEYS? OUR RULES.” 🇨🇦 🔐New crypto custody framework: platforms must clearly disclose how they store your assets (no more mystery “trust us bro” storage). ⚖️If funds go missing, firms are now legally liable — imagine accountability in crypto 😭 💥Single-key” custody getting cooked — third-party safeguards required so one person can’t nuke the whole vault.
🚨 GOLD & SILVER MARKET CAP JUST DID A CASUAL MOONWALK 🌕 💥 +$6.5 TRILLION in 48 HOURS 🔹 That’s ~4x Bitcoin’s market cap 💎 HUGE MOVEMENT! Meanwhile: “Bitcoin is the only hedge” crowd suddenly researching what a ‘metal’ is 😭
🇺🇸🤝🇸🇦 Just in: the U.S. approved a potential $3B F-15 sustainment package for Saudi Arabia — not “new toys,” just the expensive grown-up stuff: spares, repairs, software support, training, logistics, and contractor help to keep the jets flying. Translation: “your subscription to F-15 upkeep has been renewed.” ✈️💸