Recently, this wave of decline...
I don't know how to describe it,
I just feel like I've been thrown hard to the ground,
so much that even the pain feels numb.
I've lost too much,
so much that now when I see numbers, I feel a bit indifferent.
It's not heartbreak,
it's more like my heart has been hollowed out,
so empty that I can hear the echo inside.
I've been asking myself repeatedly these days:
"What exactly am I holding on to?"
By the end, I was a bit afraid to ask anymore.
Because the answer... seems to be gone.
The more the market falls,
the less I know who I am,
the less I know whether I'm investing,
or just using money to fill something deeper.
When it was rising, I could talk a lot,
about faith, about long-term, about trends, about cycles.
Now looking back—
that was not composure at all,
that was an illusion during the tailwind.
Only when it falls do I realize
that I'm actually not steady at all.
This drop,
it's like someone suddenly turned off all the lights in my heart.
All at once, complete darkness.
I can't find the direction,
and I don’t know where to go.
Every time the red refreshes,
it feels like a reminder:
"Look, you still haven't prepared."
At times like this,
people show their truest versions:
• Some can remain steady like a rock.
• Some can shut off all hope in a second.
• And then there are people like me,
who want to leave but can't,
want to stay but don't know what the meaning is,
stuck in midair,
unable to go up or down.
I've found that,
the more I lose,
the less I dare to move.
It's like I'm afraid that if I move again,
I'll just shatter completely.
Someone asked me:
"Can you still hold on?"
I don't know.
I really don't know.
Now I can't even grasp my own emotions,
it feels like holding water in my hands,
the more I try to steady it, the more it leaks.
The market walks in darkness,
so do I.
The only thing I can be sure of is:
when the storm comes,
it's not about whether you're strong or not,
it's about whether you have the courage
to admit that you're actually very weak.
At this point of loss,
I admit I really can’t hold on much longer.
It's not that I don't have money,
it’s that my heart is tired.
Tired to the point where saying a complete sentence feels laborious.
But I haven't left,
I don't know why,
it might be that last bit of silly hope,
or maybe I just don't want this experience
to only result in the two words "give up". $ETH
