Chapter One: Great Sage, is your golden staff rusty?
At the foot of the Five Finger Mountain, dust was flying.
A completely snow-white Shiba Inu was lying by the roadside, its paws supporting its face, and a brown backpack was casually thrown at its feet.
“Sigh——”
$Kurumi sighed, her tail lazily sweeping the ground.
“Where's the promised classic anime? Why did I first encounter a mountain ditch?”
It turned over and sat up, its paws swiping in the air, and an old, yellowed book appeared out of nowhere.
The big characters on the cover: (Journey to the West: The Return of the Great Sage).
“Oh no.”
Kurumi perked up her ears, her eyes shining.
No sooner had the words left his mouth than a deafening roar echoed from afar.
The mountain trembled, and rocks tumbled down.
A figure in a tattered red cloak burst out from the mountain's belly, followed by a dark mass of mountain demons.
"Great Sage! Wait for me!"
A childish voice followed closely behind, and the bald little monk Jiang Liuer scrambled out to catch up.
Sun Wukong landed and slammed his golden cudgel into the ground.
"Snap—"
The stick is crooked.
He glanced down, his lips twitching.
After five hundred years without maintenance, this iron pillar that stabilizes the sea... seems to have really rusted a bit.
"Great Sage, your staff..." Jiang Liuer ran up breathlessly.
"Shut up!"
Sun Wukong glared at him, then turned to face the charging army of mountain demons.
A dense, dark mass, at least three hundred.
The leader of the mountain demons grinned maliciously: "The Great Sage Equal to Heaven? Now he's just a hairless monkey!"
Before he could finish speaking, a club came crashing down.
Sun Wukong dodged to the side and swung his staff backhand—
"when!"
The golden cudgel struck the mountain demon's shoulder, sparks flying.
The mountain demon swayed, then grinned: "That's it?"
Sun Wukong's pupils contracted.
This is troublesome.
After five hundred years of sealing, its magical power has been reduced to less than one-tenth. Without the blessing of divine power, the Golden Cudgel is no different from a fire poker.
Upon seeing this, the mountain demons burst into laughter.
"Go! Capture this monkey, and the Demon King will reward you handsomely!"
The Kuroshio Current surged in.
Jiang Liuer turned pale with fright, but still clung tightly to the corner of Sun Wukong's cloak: "Great Sage..."
"Get out of the way!"
Sun Wukong shoved him aside and gritted his teeth to meet him.
The sticks flashed.
But each strike was weak and feeble; the mountain demons withstood several blows, but only shallow marks were left.
"Hahaha! This is the Monkey King?"
The leader kicked Sun Wukong in the chest.
"Bang!"
Sun Wukong flew backward, crashed into the mountain wall, and slid to the ground.
Dust rose up.
He struggled to stand up, bracing himself with his hands—and slipped again.
I looked down.
Where did this puddle of... oil come from?
"Oh dear, I'm so sorry."
A light, cheerful voice came from above.
Sun Wukong suddenly looked up.
By the mountain road, a white Shiba Inu was holding an oil can, looking apologetic: "I was just trying to put some oil on my backpack, but my hand slipped."
"you--"
"But then again..."
Kurumi put away the oil jug, took out a pair of glasses from his bag, put them on, and carefully examined Sun Wukong.
“Great Sage, your golden cudgel… really needs some rust removal and maintenance. Five hundred years of oxide layer, tsk tsk, it’s all patina now.”
The mountain demons were stunned.
The leader narrowed his eyes: "Where did this dog demon come from? It's asking for death!"
With a wave of his hand, more than a dozen mountain demons turned around and pounced on Kurumi.
Kurumi sighed.
"I just want to watch the show in peace."
Unhurriedly, it took something out of its backpack—
A whetstone.
"Come here, Great Sage, let me borrow your staff."
Kurumi hooked his claws.
"Whoosh!"
The golden cudgel in Sun Wukong's hand flew out and landed steadily in its claws.
"What are you doing!" Sun Wukong roared.
"Maintenance, of course."
Kurumi pressed the golden cudgel onto the whetstone and began to grind it with a sizzling sound.
Sparks flew everywhere.
The mountain demons who had charged forward paused, looking at each other in bewilderment.
Is this dog... sharpening a stick on the battlefield?
The leader was furious: "Playing tricks! Tear it apart!"
The mountain demons charged again.
Kurumi didn't even look up, continuing to grind.
Ten steps.
Five steps.
Three steps —
"alright."
Kurumi raised his golden cudgel and looked at it in the sunlight.
The staff was gleaming, with a golden sheen.
It threw the stick towards Sun Wukong: "Catch!"
Sun Wukong caught it instinctively.
The moment I got it—
Buzz!
The staff trembled, and a brilliant golden light shone forth!
For the first time in five hundred years, the golden cudgel became scorching hot again, as if it had come back to life.
"This is……"
"I just smoothed out the rust," Kurumi patted his paws. "And I quenched it with Samadhi Fire while I was at it. Don't worry, the dimensions weren't changed."
Sun Wukong gripped the golden cudgel tightly, feeling the long-lost power surging in his palm.
He looked up, and his expression changed.
Thanks.
"You're welcome." Kurumi grinned. "But we need to settle the maintenance fee—let me see just how powerful the legendary Monkey King really is."
Sun Wukong's lips curled up.
Five hundred years.
The first time I laughed.
"Then... watch carefully."
He strode forward.
He swung his golden cudgel in a wide arc, sweeping across the room!
Golden light, like a dragon, exploded!
boom--
The five mountain demons that were the first to be hit were instantly reduced to ashes.
"What?!"
The leader was greatly alarmed.
Sun Wukong moved like lightning, weaving through the demon horde.
Each strike brought forth a gust of wind.
Each strike shattered mountains and split rocks.
Wherever the afterimage passed, mountain demons fell in droves.
Jiang Liuer was stunned, his mouth agape in an "O" shape.
Kurumi pulled out a small stool from somewhere and sat down, then took out a bucket of popcorn from his backpack.
"Hmm, this is somewhat interesting."
As it ate, it commented: "However, your staff technique is rusty; the thirty-seventh move, the turn, was 0.3 seconds slower. Has it not practiced martial arts for five hundred years?"
Sun Wukong smashed three mountain demons away with his staff, then turned around and glared at it: "If you're so good, you do it!"
"This library is the audience."
Kurumi grabbed another handful of popcorn: "Pay to watch, no participation in the performance. Unless..."
Its eyes glanced at the mountain troll leader.
The leader panicked and was quietly retreating.
"Unless someone wants to evade the fare."
Before she could finish speaking, Kurumi flicked her paw.
A popcorn kernel flew out.
"call out--"
It hit the leader's knee precisely.
"ah!"
The leader knelt on one knee and turned back in terror.
Kurumi had already stood up and brushed the crumbs off its paws.
"Benku hates people who try to leave without buying a ticket."
It went to the battlefield.
Sun Wukong frowned: "This is my stance!"
"Now it belongs to everyone."
As Kurumi spoke, he took something out of his bag—
A...bone?
It's made of plastic, like a dog toy.
The mountain demons were stunned, then burst into laughter.
"Hahaha! This dog demon must be terrified!"
"You think you can start a fight over a broken toy?"
Kurumi ignored them, placed the plastic bone on the ground, and pressed its paws onto it.
"Heaven and earth are boundless, and all things return to one."
It chanted: "In the name of this repository—change!"
puff.
The plastic bone turned into a...
More elaborate plastic bones, inlaid with fake diamonds.
The mountain demons laughed even more wildly.
The leader scrambled to his feet, grinning maliciously: "Men, kill this mad dog first!"
Dozens of mountain demons turned their attention to Kurumi.
Kurumi sighed.
"I've already said, this isn't a toy."
It lifted the plastic bone and swung it gently.
There was no wind.
No lighting effects.
But the mountain demon at the very front suddenly froze.
Then--
Splash!
It shattered into a pile of building blocks.
The entire room fell silent.
Kurumi tilted his head: "What's so surprising? I just think that people with your IQ are better suited to be building blocks."
It swung the bone again.
The second mountain demon turned into a jigsaw puzzle piece.
The third one became Lego.
The fourth one became...
"This is too ugly," Kurumi said disdainfully. "Let's make a Rubik's Cube instead."
*Smack*
The mountain demon twisted and rearranged itself into a 3x3 Rubik's Cube, which fell to the ground with a thud.
The remaining mountain demons were terrified and turned to run away.
"Trying to run?"
Sun Wukong sneered, and with a horizontal stroke of his golden cudgel, he blocked their path.
First came the Great Sage, then came the Demon Dog.
The mountain demons were caught in a dilemma.
The leader gritted his teeth and pulled a black talisman from his pocket: "You forced me to do this!"
He bit his tongue, and blood splattered onto the talisman.
The talisman burned, and black smoke soared into the sky!
A sinister roar echoed from within the black mist.
A giant bone claw reached out and tore open a spatial rift.
A demonic aura filled the air, and the sky darkened.
Jiang Liuer trembled with fear: "Great...Great Sage..."
Sun Wukong's expression turned solemn: "The Demon King's clone..."
The crack was completely torn open.
A three-headed, six-armed skeletal demon slowly crawled out.
With each step it took, the earth trembled.
Six empty eye sockets locked onto Sun Wukong and Kurumi.
"Great Sage Equal to Heaven..." the skeletal demon's voice was hoarse, "Five hundred years have passed, and you are still alive."
"If you're not dead, how could I be?" Sun Wukong gripped his golden cudgel tightly.
"Hahaha!" the demon laughed, "How much of your former glory do you still possess now?"
With all six arms outstretched, the black mist transformed into six giant pythons, which pounced on Sun Wukong!
Sun Wukong swung his staff to meet the attack.
"Ta-da!"
The clang of metal rang out, and sparks flew everywhere.
He was forced to retreat step by step, each step leaving a deep crater beneath his feet.
The gap is too big.
Five hundred years of gaps cannot be filled by simply sharpening a stick.
Kurumi watched from the side and shook his head.
"They bully the weak with their size, they gang up on the few with their numbers, and they even use cheat codes."
It stuffed the plastic bone back into its backpack and took something else out instead—
A rice cooker.
It's the old-fashioned kind, with a steamer basket.
Sun Wukong caught a glimpse of it out of the corner of his eye and nearly choked: "What are you going to do now?!"
"To cook," Kurumi said matter-of-factly. "I'm hungry after playing for so long."
It opened the rice cooker and started throwing things in.
A handful of soil.
A few leaves.
The mountain demon transformed into a Rubik's Cube; disassemble it and throw it back in.
He then took out a bottle of "Special Soy Sauce for Immortals" from his bag and poured some out.
Finally, put the lid on and press the switch.
"Beep beep—Start cooking."
The indicator light on the rice cooker lit up.
The skeletal demon froze, even ceasing its attack.
"You dog demon... are you humiliating me?!"
"No, I really do cook."
Kurumi said earnestly, "You keep playing, don't worry about Benku. Benku is just a cook."
The demon was enraged, and its three heads roared simultaneously!
The black energy condensed into a towering wave, crashing towards Kurumi!
This strike was enough to level the mountain.
Kurumi didn't even look up, and with a paw, lifted the lid of the rice cooker.
"Dinner is ready."
Buzz—
Golden light burst forth from the pot!
That is not light.
It is a fragrance that has solidified into a tangible form.
Wherever the fragrance passed, the black mist and ice melted away.
The skeletal demon screamed as its six arms began to melt, dripping down like candle wax.
"What...what is this?!"
"Benku Special - The Youthful Mini Version of the Heartbreaking Rice".
Kurumi ladled a bowl from the pot and handed it to Jiang Liuer: "Want to try some?"
Jiang Liuer took it blankly.
The bowl contained just plain white rice with a poached egg added.
But the aroma... makes your mouth water.
He took a bite.
Eyes wide open.
"Delicious!"
"Of course it's delicious," Kurumi said proudly. "I used the Samadhi True Fire to cook the rice, washed it with the Nine Heavens' Sweet Dew, and added a little bit of..."
It glanced at the melting demon.
"Demon King-level seasoning".
The skeletal demon had collapsed into a pile of bone fragments, yet it was still bubbling.
Sun Wukong stood still, his golden cudgel hanging at his side.
He looked at Kurumi with a complicated expression.
"Who...are you?"
"This library?"
Kurumi put away the rice cooker and patted his paws.
"A Shiba Inu that just happened to be passing by, not worth mentioning."
It walked up to the demon's bone fragments and reached out with its claws.
A black crystal was pulled out from the black ash.
"Oh? There's still some essence left."
Kurumi tossed the crystal into his backpack, then pulled out another crystal that was crystal clear and shimmering with iridescent colors.
He turned around and handed it to Sun Wukong.
"Here, this is for you."
Sun Wukong didn't answer: "What is this?"
"Kurumi Dao Crystal." Kurumi placed the crystal in his hand. "Keep it safe. If you ever need money, food, or weapons, hold it tight and think about what you need."
"It can conjure up everything?"
"cannot."
"That……"
"But it can teach you how to make it yourself."
Kurumi grinned: "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. This Kurumi teaches you... a fishing rod plus a complete fishing tutorial."
Sun Wukong looked at the crystal in his hand and remained silent for a moment.
Why are you helping me?
"Because this warehouse is idle."
Kurumi slung her backpack over her shoulder and turned to leave.
They stopped again and turned around.
"Oh, by the way, just a reminder."
Its claws pointed at Jiang Liuer.
“That kid has a deep connection with you. Teach him well, don’t let him turn out like you did to Zixia back then.”
Sun Wukong shuddered.
How did you know—
"Benku knows everything."
Kurumi waved its paws and walked on air.
One step, and you're already a hundred feet away.
The sound came on the wind:
"This crystal can give birth to all things, just like the name of this storehouse, 'storehouse full of rice,' wishing you rice in your storehouse every day."
"See you in the next anime."
A white shadow flashed and disappeared into the horizon.
Sun Wukong stood still for a long time.
Jiang Liuer cautiously approached: "Great Sage, that dog..."
"It's not a dog."
Sun Wukong gripped the Dao Crystal tightly and gazed into the distance.
"It's a... monster."
He turned around and carefully put away the Dao Crystal.
"They're gone."
Where to?
"Let's find a place to eat first."
"Ah? Great Sage, you're hungry too?"
"Hmm." Sun Wukong rubbed his belly. "Watching that dog cook made me hungry."
The two disappeared into the mountains, one after the other.
Distant cloud peaks.
Kurumi lay on a cloud, its paws supporting its face.
A dozen or so books of light floated in front of me.
(Qin's Moon) (Fox Spirit Matchmaker) (Under One Person) (Ling Cage) (Fog Hill of Five Elements)...
Its paws were pawing at it, like flipping through a menu.
"Where to next..."
His eyes suddenly lit up.
The paw rested on a book.
On the cover, a boy in red stands holding a knife, with the mighty Yangtze River behind him.
(The镖人).
"Oh? That's exciting."
Kurumi grinned.
Inside the schoolbag, 999,999,999 Kurumi Dao Crystals gently collided, making a clinking sound.
Let's go.
A white figure leaped into the book.
