Rakshasa Street.
The street was crooked like a drunkard's teeth, the buildings on both sides were covered with dark red moss, and the air was filled with the smell of rust and rotting wood.
A layer of perpetually stagnant gray mist hung overhead, occasionally letting through a few pale beams of light that cast a bluish hue on the scattered bones scattered on the ground.
Cao Yanbing leaned against a crooked locust tree, grilling a skewer of three human-faced spiders, which were sizzling with oil.
"It tastes awful."
He took a bite, frowned, and said, "The food for this generation of evil spirits is getting worse and worse."
Xia Ling squatted down beside her, covering her nose: "Do you really have to eat next to a grave?"
"The scenery here is beautiful."
Cao Yanbing took another bite. "Look at that archway, it's from the Chongzhen era, an antique."
The archway is indeed ancient, but seven fresh corpses are hanging on it, their blood still dripping.
"Something's here." Cao Yanbing suddenly looked up.
----------------------------------------
At the street corner, a white shadow flashed by.
#Kurumi Approaching with a "crunch, crunch" sound as I stepped on the broken bones, my brown backpack stood out starkly against the gray fog.
It stopped, sniffed, and said, "Wow, a barbecue stand? I'll have a skewer."
Cao Yanbing squinted: "A dog?"
“Dog Immortal, Heaven-Devouring Divine Beast,” Kurumi corrected, pointing his paw at the skewers. “The Human-Faced Spider is old and tough. Next time, catch a young one with tender leg meat.”
Xia Ling's eyes widened: "It can talk?!"
"They also fight."
Kurumi had already squatted down by the fire, took out an iron skewer from his backpack, poked a corpse beetle that was crawling by, and put it over the fire to roast. "The property management on this street is terrible. There aren't a single streetlight, the roads are full of potholes, and they haven't even sorted the garbage—how can you throw that pile of skulls and limbs together like that?"
Cao Yanbing's eye twitched: "Where did you come from?"
"Just passing by."
Kurumi flips over the corpse beetles, saying, "I've heard there are many evil spirits here, so I've come to investigate the local conditions—no, to investigate the re-employment situation of the dead."
"Get lost." Cao Yanbing said succinctly.
"No, please."
Kurumi roasted a corpse beetle, blew on it, and said, "Our clinic specializes in exorcising spirits, and we're fully licensed. Look at these wandering worms on the street, they're such an eyesore. We can clean them up for you, it's cheap, and we accept monthly billing."
Before he could finish speaking...
----------------------------------------
"Waaah—"
A cold wind suddenly arose.
The windows of the buildings on both sides of the street burst open with a loud bang, and a dark mass poured out—at least three hundred evil spirits, some missing heads, some with protruding intestines, and some dripping with pus.
The leader was a three-meter-tall stitched monster with eighteen hands, each holding a rusty weapon.
"Rakshasa Street, no strangers allowed."
The Frankenstein's monster's voice sounded like a broken bellows, "Flesh...leave it!"
The three hundred evil spirits roared in unison, their voices shaking the corpses on the archway.
Xia Ling's face turned pale, and she took half a step back.
Cao Yanbing threw away the kebabs and stood up straight.
He placed his hand on his waist.
But there are people—dogs—who are faster than him.
Kurumi sighed and put down the roasted beetle.
"Benku hates being disturbed while eating."
It stood up and shook its fur.
Then, they charged towards the horde of evil spirits.
No nonsense, no opening moves.
The first evil spirit pounced, its face missing half.
Kurumi slammed its paw down—"splat." Like smashing a tomato.
The second one was grabbed from the left, its intestines dragging on the ground.
Kurumi's tail swept across—"snap!"—severing it in half, sending its upper and lower body flying to opposite sides.
The third one fell from the sky.
Kurumi looked up, opened her mouth—"Awoo."—and swallowed.
He chewed twice, frowned, and spat out a bone: "The food is terrible."
It charged into the pile of evil spirits.
It looks like a white meat grinder.
With each swing of the claws, evil spirits exploded into black smoke.
Each flick of its tail clears out an area.
Occasionally, it would kick—the evil spirit that was kicked would fly backward like a cannonball, crashing through three or four walls before stopping.
Ten seconds.
The thirty evil spirits vanished.
Twenty seconds.
Seventy.
Thirty seconds.
Half of the street was empty.
The Frankenstein monster wielded its eighteen arms simultaneously, slashing at Kurumi's nape!
Kurumi didn't turn around, but simply lifted his hind leg and casually pushed off—
"Bang!"
The Stitched Monster's chest exploded open, and it flew backward, crashing into the archway and hanging there with the seven corpses.
"Done."
----------------------------------------
Kurumi walked back to the fire and continued roasting crabs ($BTC , "Can we talk business properly now?").
Cao Yanbing slowly loosened his grip on his waist.
He stared at Kurumi for three seconds.
"You are not a dog."
"Benku is," Kurumi said, flipping the skewers, "the kind that's pretty good at fighting."
"The Soul Guardians will guard the streets; they don't need any help."
"I didn't say I would help you."
Kurumi grinned. "I'm here to conduct a social survey—'Feasibility Study on Infrastructure Improvement and Re-employment in the Undead Settlement.' You're the local administrator, right? Cooperate by filling out a questionnaire."
He actually pulled a folder out of his backpack.
Cao Yanbing's eye twitched again.
Xia Ling asked softly, "Yanbing, what exactly is it...?"
"have no idea."
Cao Yanbing took the folder and opened it.
Page 1: (Survey on the Satisfaction of the Dead in Rakshasa Street (1-5 points)).
Question 1: How satisfied are you with your current living environment? (Options: graveyard/mass burial ground/dilapidated house/no fixed address)
Question 2: Do you think street surface repairs are urgently needed? (Skull illustration attached)
Question 3: Do you have any intention of changing careers? (e.g., deliveryman, security guard, extra, etc.)
Cao Yanbing closed the folder.
What exactly do you want?
"I already said it was a social survey."
Kurumi finished gnawing on a roasted crab. "While I'm at it, I'll find someone—no, I mean a spirit. Someone named Xiang Kunlun, I heard he's the boss of this street?"
The air suddenly cooled down by several degrees.
Cao Yanbing's expression changed.
"Are you looking for Xiang Kunlun?"
"Um."
Kurumi nodded. "I heard he has a million dead under his command. I'd like to discuss a business deal with him—bulk deliverance, 20% off for group purchases."
Xia Ling gasped.
Cao Yanbing laughed, a chilling laugh.
"Xiang Kunlun is at the end of Zhenhun Street, before the Gates of Hell."
He turned around. "Want to go? Sure. But you'll have to get past me first."
----------------------------------------
He took a step forward.
The ground beneath my feet cracked open with a spiderweb pattern.
"Xu Chu".
Flames exploded!
A three-meter-tall phantom of a giant appeared behind Cao Yanbing, heavily armored, with a red face, wielding a fire hammer the size of a door.
The heat wave hit her face, making Xia Ling retreat repeatedly.
Guardian Spirit: Xu Chu.
"It should have been done a long time ago."
Kurumi's eyes lit up. "I like things to be direct."
It threw down the skewers and stood up.
Xu Chu brought his hammer down!
Before the fire hammer even arrived, the hot air had already scorched the ground black.
Kurumi didn't dodge; it clenched its right forepaw into a fist and slammed it head-on into the hammer!
Fist and hammer collide—
"clang--!!!"
The shockwave exploded in a ring, and three buildings on both sides of the street collapsed with a "crash"!
Gravel flew everywhere, and dust billowed into the sky!
Xu Chu retreated three steps, his fire hammer trembling and humming.
Kurumi remained motionless, flicking his paws: "Not bad strength, but your hammering technique is too rough. All you can do is smash?"
Cao Yanbing's pupils contracted.
Xu Chu roared, swinging his fiery hammer in a wide arc, sweeping across the entire army!
This time, Kurumi made a move.
It crouched low, lunged forward, and slid close to Xu Chu's feet, its claws gripping the giant's ankle, and with a swift motion—
"boom!"
Xu Chu lost his balance and fell to the ground, creating a large crater.
Kurumi leaped onto his chest, pressing his claws against the helmet: "Do you submit?"
Xu Chu struggled, and flames surged wildly.
But the claw didn't move an inch.
Cao Yanbing gritted his teeth: "Dian Wei!"
A second afterimage burst forth!
Black armor, twin halberds, and an even stronger murderous aura than Xu Chu! Dian Wei slashed down with his twin halberds crossed, the blades tearing through the air with a ghostly wail!
Kurumi looked up and opened her mouth.
"roar--!!!"
The dogs barked like thunder!
The sound waves solidified into tangible golden ripples, colliding with the twin halberds—"Bang!"
Dian Wei, halberd and all, flew backward, crashing through half a street of buildings before finally embedding himself in the stone wall at the end of the street.
Kurumi closed his mouth and licked his teeth: "Is there anything else?"
Cao Yanbing's face turned pale.
He formed a hand seal, about to summon a third one—
"Stop, stop, stop!" Kurumi jumped off Xu Chu's chest. "I'm here to do business, not to destroy your house. If this fight continues, this street will be gone."
It walked up to Cao Yanbing, flipped its paw, and produced a calculator.
“Look at your current management methods: evil spirits roam around, affecting public order; buildings are dilapidated, which is unsightly; the unemployment rate of the dead is 100%, which can easily trigger mass incidents.”
"Our plan is as follows: First, to perform mass exorcisms for stubborn evil spirits and purify the environment; second, to repair streets, install streetlights, and establish a garbage sorting system; third, to provide vocational training for spirits willing to change careers, such as—"
It took out several booklets from its schoolbag.
(Guide to Being a Ghost Deliveryman) (Haunted House Cleaning Operation Manual) (The Self-Cultivation of Extras (Special Edition for Horror Movies))
Cao Yanbing stared at the booklets, speechless for a long time.
Xia Ling muttered softly, "It seems... to be serious?"
"Benku never jokes."
Kurumi put away the booklet. "Now, take Benku to see Xiang Kunlun. If the deal goes through, Benku will help you renovate this street. If the deal falls through, Benku will fight it himself—but that would be a big commotion, and you might have to rebuild it."
Cao Yanbing remained silent.
a long time.
He turned around.
"Keep up."
----------------------------------------
We passed through Rakshasa Street, crossed the River of Blood, and climbed the Steps of White Bones.
At the end was a black palace, in front of which stood ninety-nine human bone pillars, each topped with a green flame.
The palace gate was ten zhang high, covered with reliefs of fierce ghosts. A cold wind seeped from the cracks in the gate, chilling one to the bone.
"Xiang Kunlun is inside."
Cao Yanbing stopped. "Let me remind you—he has a bad temper."
"Coincidentally, this library specializes in curing bad tempers."
Kurumi stepped forward and knocked on the door with its paws, shouting, "Delivery! Open the door!"
The door opened a crack.
A blood-red eye peered through the crack in the door, peering outside.
"Cao Yanbing? What are you doing bringing a dog here?"
"Find Xiang Kunlun to discuss business."
Kurumi pushed the door a little wider. "Move aside, you're blocking my way."
Behind the door stood a three-meter-tall bull-headed demon general, who was startled upon hearing this: "You—"
Kurumi has already squeezed in.
Inside the main hall, thousands of undead generals stood in a dark, imposing mass.
At the highest point, on the skull throne, sat a person—who looked human.
He wore a black robe, had black hair, and a pale, handsome face, but his eyes were pure black with no whites.
Xiang Kunlun.
He was holding a glass of blood wine when he saw Kurumi and paused.
"Cao Yanbing," he said in a low voice, "explain."
"It wants to see you." Cao Yanbing stood at the entrance of the hall but did not go in.
Xiang Kunlun put down his wine glass, his dark eyes fixed on Kurumi: "A dog?"
"Dog Immortal, Heaven-Devouring Divine Beast."
Kurumi corrected for the nth time, "You're Xiang Kunlun? I've come to discuss a business deal—you have a million undead under your command, and they're just sitting idle anyway, so why not rent them to me? I'll take them to do infrastructure."
A low snicker echoed in the main hall.
Xiang Kunlun also laughed, a laugh that sent chills down one's spine.
"rent?"
----------------------------------------
"Yes, rent."
Kurumi pulled a stack of contracts out of his bag. “Minimum three-year lease, meals and accommodation included, five social insurances and one housing fund, and after death—uh, you’re already dead—that’ll be considered an extra compensation for work-related injury. Excellent benefits, and support for collective bargaining.”
One of the generals, with a fierce-looking head, couldn't hold back any longer: "Insolence! My lord, this humble general requests permission to tear this beast apart!"
Xiang Kunlun raised his hand to stop him.
"You want to use my soldiers to build roads? Sweep floors? Act in movies?"
"There are also jobs like delivering packages, working as security guards, and doing landscaping."
Kurumi added, "The dead don't need rest, they don't need food, they won't die from exhaustion—perfect labor force. You guys are fighting all day long, what a waste."
Xiang Kunlun stood up.
He was very tall, and the hem of his black robe trailed on the ground, making him look like a moving shadow as he walked.
"I command a million undead in order to unify Zhenhun Street and return to the human world."
He walked up to Kurumi, looked down at him, and said, "You're not going to be a migrant worker."
"Your vision is too narrow."
Kurumi shook his head. "How much money can you make from fighting and killing? Developing infrastructure is the way to go. Think about it, develop Soul Town into a tourist area, charge admission fees, sell merchandise, and build a necromantic theme park—you can make enough money to support ten legions."
The main hall was completely silent.
Even Cao Yanbing was stunned.
Xiang Kunlun stared at Kurumi with his dark eyes for a long time.
Sudden.
He smiled.
It wasn't a sarcastic laugh; I genuinely found it funny.
"interesting."
He sat back on his throne, “But my soldiers only listen to me. If you want them, you’ll have to defeat me first.”
"You should have said so earlier." Kurumi put the contract away. "I'm in a hurry, let's go together."
With a swipe of its claws, it pointed at the thousands of generals inside the hall.
"You, all of you."
Dead silence.
Then it exploded!
"Arrogant!"
"You're asking for it!"
"Kill it!"
The generals roared, and the sound of weapons being drawn filled the air!
Xiang Kunlun didn't move, he just waved his hand.
"Play with it."
The first to charge was Tiger Head General, who swung his broadsword down—but the sword broke in mid-air.
Kurumi slapped his face with his claws and shoved his head into the ground.
The second one was a two-headed snake, its fangs snapping at Kurumi—one head in each hand, they collided with a "crack," and both heads went dazed at the same time.
The third one is the Bone-Winged Flying General, which swoops down to grab it—Kurumi leaps up, his tail whips out like a whip, the bone wings shatter into pieces, and the flying general is smashed into a pancake.
It rampaged through the main hall.
Like a runaway road roller.
Claw slaps, tail whips, kicks, headbutts—the moves are ridiculously simple, but no one can withstand a single blow.
In ten seconds, thirty generals fell.
Twenty seconds, one hundred.
In thirty seconds, half of the hall was empty.
----------------------------------------
The smile on Xiang Kunlun's face gradually disappeared.
He stood up.
The black robes fluttered without wind, and a black aura surged out like a tide, instantly filling the entire hall!
Those fallen generals, enveloped in black mist, rose again, their eyes glowing red, their auras surging!
Necromantic Secret Art: Night Parade of One Hundred Demons - Enhanced Version!
A thousand enhanced generals surged forth in a dark, overwhelming manner!
Kurumi finally stopped.
It scratched its head.
"Looks like I need to get serious."
Take the backpack off your back and open it.
This time, what he pulled out wasn't a prop.
Is it a...bone?
It's just a regular dog chew, made of plastic, and covered in saliva.
“The ‘divine bone’ of this library.”
It is very serious and "specializes in curing all kinds of dissent".
He threw the bone on the ground.
"Pick it up."
The generals were taken aback.
Then, something terrifying happened—
The nearest bull-headed demon general suddenly stared wide-eyed at the bone, his breathing heavy. He lunged forward, trying to pick it up—
"Get out of my way! He's mine!" The tiger-headed general shoved him aside.
"Bullshit! I saw it first!" The two-headed snake bit one of its heads at the tiger's head.
"Get out of the way!" The bone-winged general swooped down and grabbed at the bones.
A thousand generals fought each other over a single plastic bone.
You pull my arm, I bite your leg, he chokes his neck.
The main hall was in complete chaos.
Xiang Kunlun was stunned.
Cao Yanbing stood at the entrance of the palace, his lips twitching.
Xia Ling covered her face: "What the hell is this...?"
----------------------------------------
Kurumi squatted nearby, leisurely commenting: "That bull's head was too aggressive, it was almost a foul. That two-headed snake, the two heads are out of proportion, I suggest they do some team building."
Xiang Kunlun finally became truly enraged.
He raised his hand, and black energy condensed into a giant hand, grabbing at Kurumi!
This grab distorted even space itself!
Kurumi looked up and opened her mouth.
Another bite.
It swallowed the giant black hand.
He chewed it, burped, and exhaled a wisp of black smoke: "The taste is alright, but there are a lot of impurities."
Xiang Kunlun's expression finally changed.
He formed a hand seal, his black robe burst open, revealing the jet-black armor beneath.
A huge black phantom appeared behind him—it was a demon god with three heads and six arms, holding a blood-red weapon in each hand.
“The true form of the Undead Emperor…” Cao Yanbing murmured, “He’s using his full strength.”
The demon god unleashed its six arms, its weapons tearing through space and sealing off all escape routes!
Kurumi sighed.
"They're forcing Benku to use his ultimate move."
It stood up, pushed off the ground with its four paws, and tilted its head back.
Take a deep breath.
His chest swelled up, swelled up, swelled up to an unbelievable degree—
Then.
"Woof—!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
That sound didn't sound like a dog barking.
Like the first thunderclap at the beginning of time.
The sound waves solidified into a golden storm, exploding outwards from Kurumi's center!
Wherever it passed, the black mist dissipated, the demon god's phantom shattered inch by inch, and thousands of generals were blown away like falling leaves, crashing into walls, pillars, and the ground!
The dome of the main hall cracked open with a "crack," and rubble fell like rain.
Of the ninety-nine human bone pillars, thirty-seven have fallen.
The green flames were extinguished.
Three seconds later.
The noise subsided.
Inside the main hall, only three and a half people remained standing—Kurumi, Cao Yanbing, Xia Ling, and half of Xiang Kunlun (he was kneeling on one knee, his black robe torn into strips).
The ground was littered with unconscious generals, piled up like small mountains.
Kurumi closed his mouth and licked his teeth.
"Can we sign the contract now?"
Xiang Kunlun supported himself on his knees and slowly stood up.
Black Eyes stared at Kurumi for a long time.
Sudden.
He smiled.
He laughed heartily.
"Fine!" He wiped the black blood from the corner of his mouth. "I, Xiang Kunlun, am convinced!"
----------------------------------------
He pulled a scroll of bones from under the throne and tossed it to Kurumi.
"A million dead souls, I'll rent them to you. Three years, you name the price."
"refreshing."
Kurumi took the skeleton. "Then I won't stand on ceremony—first year probation, room and board included, base salary, performance-based pay extra. Any objections?"
"without."
Xiang Kunlun sat down, picked up the cup of blood wine that hadn't been spilled yet, and drank it all in one gulp. "When do we start work?"
"Now."
Kurumi took a whistle out of his bag ($BNB ) and blew it.
"Beep—"
Outside the palace, the million-strong army of the dead turned their heads in unison.
Listen carefully!
Kurumi leaped onto the throne (Xiang Kunlun yielded half of it), "From today onwards, you're all changing professions! First construction team, repair the road surface of Rakshasa Street! Second construction team, install streetlights! Third construction team, implement garbage sorting! Fourth team—"
It assigns tasks one by one.
Millions of dead souls began to systematically... undertake infrastructure construction.
Cao Yanbing looked out the window and remained silent for a long time.
"This is the most outrageous thing I've ever seen."
“There are even more outrageous ones.”
Kurumi jumped down and handed him and Xia Ling each a Dao Crystal. "Keep this safe. Holding it tightly will summon low-level undead to help you—like cleaning, moving, or scaring away annoying neighbors."
It picked up its schoolbag and walked out of the hall.
Xiang Kunlun called out to it, "Where are you going?"
“Next block.” Kurumi turned around. “There’s more than one Soul Town, right? Let’s go check out the other streets and promote the ‘Undead Re-employment Project’.”
As it stepped out of the palace gate, its form began to fade.
"Oh, and remember to give the undead safety helmets. They're working at heights, so be careful."
The white figure disappeared.
Inside the main hall, Xiang Kunlun looked out at the bustling construction site and suddenly felt—
Being a construction foreman seems more interesting than being the King of the Dead.
----------------------------------------
The boundary of Zhenhun Street.
Kurumi flipped through the newly acquired bone tablet contract, its tail wagging happily.
"With a million undead laborers, we won't be short of manpower anymore."
With a wave of its paw, more than a dozen books of light appeared in front of it.
(Time Agent) (A Record of a Mortal's Journey to Immortality) (Swallowed Star)...
The claws stopped on (Time Agent).
"I've heard that in that world, it's possible to travel through photos and change the past?"
Kurumi's eyes lit up.
"This library will correct a few historical errors—for example, making the first person to say 'dog meat is delicious' switch to farming."
----------------------------------------
Kurumi: "Speaking of investment—", "Community building is like installing streetlights on a run-down street. It looks silly, it's a lot of work, and the returns are so slow that even a tortoise would yawn."
He then took out a black chess piece representing "conspiracy and hegemony" and threw it on the ground.
"But what about those grand narratives that shout 'unify the three realms' and 'reclaim the human world'? They sound exciting and look cool, but in reality—" With a stomp of his claw, the chess piece shattered into pieces, "it's no different from betting on big or small in a casino. If you win, you'll be rolling in money? Maybe. If you lose? You'll have to pawn your underwear to the King of Hell."
It rolled the asset appraisal report into a trumpet shape and brought it to its mouth:
"In my opinion—"
"That's really smart, keeping an eye on that streetlight that will be turned on tonight."
"Instead of betting on the Tower of the Dead, which 'may be completed tomorrow'."
The last bit of white light dissipated.
A laughing voice drifted from the void:
"Of course."
"If you just love thrills—"
"Remember to find yourself a proper burial place before the conspiracy collapses." "After all..."
"Those who do infrastructure construction will at most lose money on the construction period."
"Those who engage in scheming will even lose their chance to be reincarnated."
"Woof."
