1. During a bull market: tattoo laser eyes, shout "To The Moon!" During a bear market: remove the laser eyes, apply for a job at McDonald's, and ask the boss, "Can I be paid in BTC?"🤣

2. Paper hands: sell at the first drop, and when sold out, it rises. Diamond hands: never sell, and end up selling a kidney while still HODLing.

3. Question: What is the most stable investment in the crypto world? Answer: The courage to keep buying dips after buying the dip! (Because there’s always a lower dip waiting for you)

4. Bitcoin asks Ethereum: "Why are your gas fees always so high?" Ethereum: "Because I run fast, and you, old brother, are still stuck at 90K!"

5. Classic self-deprecation: I’m not poor, I’m just crypto-rich (rich until 2032)💀